Welkin Blue

Coaching For Confidence, Health and Wellbeing

Month: October 2015

Perfection Sucks!

How come perfection is something we so often chase, but never seem to attain? If we are perfect then surely we will be loved and accepted, right? But I submit to you that perfection is just an illusion, and entirely subjective anyway. I mean, we all have different goals, aspirations and desires, so what we could view as ‘perfection’ is more than likely vastly different to someone else’s version.

But what does it matter what anyone else thinks? In fact our hunt for perfection is quite often self-inflicted. We tend to create our own burden when others wouldn’t necessarily notice or even care about our perceived imperfections. If you think about it, aren’t the imperfections and quirks that we all possess what make us truly unique?

Let’s think about it even further; are we aiming for our own version of perfection, or what we think others would want us to be? Now we’re mind readers too??

Even if we did attain this Holy Grail, and become ‘perfect’, can you imagine the effort it would take in order to just maintain our status. That’s way too much stress.

In my opinion, forget perfection and accept yourself for who you are. Strive to become a better version, and by all means challenge yourself daily as you work towards a brighter future; but don’t be so hard on yourself either. We all make mistakes, and mistakes are simply opportunities to learn; embrace them, don’t fear them!

When I think of all the people I’ve loved in my life, it’s been because they were different, and I cherished their quirks and foibles. It’s what made them who they were, but then again………….

…………..I’m not ‘Perfect’!

What’s holding you back?

Do you ever get the feeling that life is like a treadmill? Always moving but never getting anywhere. So what’s holding you back?
It can often feel as though there is something missing, and if asked you can’t quite put your finger on it. But when you actually think about it, don’t you really know what that ‘something’ is? Deep down in your heart of hearts, you know what you want, you just don’t know how to get there. So in essence the real mystery is how to actually move forward.
Try this, if you could wave a magic wand and by doing so you could be exactly where you wanted to be in life, what would it be like? More importantly what is the difference between where you want to be and where you are now?
By identifying the differences we can start to see what it is that needs changing. Once the changes are apparent then the steps that we need to take start to become clearer. This is how a strategy is developed.
Despite this relatively simple formula it’s amazing how many people still don’t feel able to begin to make a change. Sure, change can be a scary prospect. I’d argue that staying the same is a far scarier thought. But no matter how unpleasant one’s current state may be, it is familiar. If something is familiar then we generally have an established coping mechanism to deal with it. Forget for a moment how dysfunctional it may be, we are so absorbed with surviving that we cannot imagine summoning the strength necessary to break the cycle and do something differently.
Living this way can lead to a decline in our confidence and belief in our own abilities; so much so that although we may dream of changing our circumstances, we end up believing that we lack the ability to be masters of our own destiny.
This cannot be farther from the truth. We all have a huge capacity for adaptation. If circumstances were thrust upon us, we’d cope. It may not be pleasant but we would, as best we could. So why not take that knowledge, and choose to make changes of your own volition. Start with something small if you want, and set realistic goals. With each change you manage to make, without your world falling apart, you evidence the fact that you are capable of effecting change and influencing your circumstances and ultimately your life.
If you are not ready to tackle something significant from the outset, then try something small. The point is, the more you get used to effecting change in your life, the more your mind automatically accepts that change is possible and anticipates your successes before they are even realised.
In the same way that we can condition ourselves to think negatively, we can also do the opposite, and be a force to be reckoned with.

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